Caring about your world is where it all starts.

If you look deeply enough into any living thing, beneath the hurt, the defenses, the habits and stories and ideas and beliefs, beneath all the layers and detritus of living, you will find a soul. A mist of true spirit. And that essence, dear one, is worthy of love. -Jaiya John

When I look back at the woman I used to be who couldn’t get out of bed and struggled with connecting to her day, I feel sadness and joy at the same time. I feel sad because why did I let her feel like that for so long? Why didn’t I get her out of that pit sooner? I feel joy because I know deep down in the wisest parts of me that I had to go through that to get to where I am at today. I don’t know if I would have such a deep appreciation for life if I didn’t feel completely disconnected from it at one time. Oddly enough. Feeling numb is what motivated me to start caring again. I knew I didn’t want to feel like that anymore and something made me aware of the fact that it was my responsibility to change that. How then did I get to a point where I no longer felt numb and ditched the negative viewpoint I had on the world? I started caring. Before that point in my life where I felt internally horrible and was essentially like a robot taking one step in front of the other, I had gone through experiences in my life that made me want to shut off. People who hurt me. The me who hurt me, which looking…