Member-only story
Learning What Should Go Versus Stay
I am always either building or tearing down the home inside of me.
For years I felt like a dog chasing my own tail when it came to trying to find a way to feel joy and love in my everyday life. I was waking up feeling disconnected from myself and I didn’t understand why. Instead of resigning myself to this period in my life, I chose to go inward and connect with the part of me that was untainted by my own self-defeating inner dialogue and the part that decided that feeling this way was a fate I could not escape.
I began the journey home when I allowed myself to explore instead of judging how I felt. I used to feel intimidated by thoughts and feelings that made me feel “bad” inside. All of these seemingly “little” thoughts and feelings were signaling to me that I needed to get curious. I believe the biggest shift for me in consciousness came from learning to ask myself heart opening questions.
Was I ok not being ok? When did I shut my heart down? Could I let go of the hurt I faced? What was my responsibility in all of this? Is this is how I wanted my days to feel? Could I become a better person than I was? Why did the smell of the sweetest rose stop phasing me? What did I want when I looked back at my life?
