Owning My Scars Pt. II

No transformation happens over night.

I felt motivated to make space for the things that made me feel well and vibrant, which gave me a sense of power over the things I had held on to for so long. I started to realize I couldn’t have both worlds inside of me. I had to choose. Either the bricks or me. This was an easy decision for me. I chose me. This meant I had to own my scars. I had to see them as they were and decide to move through them. The weight started to lift as I let go of the one dimension I had cemented inside of me and explored and allowed more perspective to greet me.

This process enhanced itself as I embraced the confidence that followed. I found that if I worked on building my faith in me I could shape the experiences I had into meaningful pieces of my life. And if I could do that then I had the courage to step out into another day and try again. After holding onto the past for so long, what I needed was space so my choices could be my own again and not the casualties of anger and resentment from what had happened. The focus and conversation inside of me could shift from the “failures of laveet” to the “process of laveet”.

Once again this meant I had to own my scars. I couldn’t ignore them or let them build into concrete blocks that would water down my existence into emotions and feelings based on hurts from the past. Allowing it to be a…