What defines normal?

Are you trying to fit in or be yourself?

If your only intent is to be seen, you’ll never be seen. If your intent is to be happy, comfortable, and genuine, and true in craft, you’re destined to be noticed. -Doja Cat

I have studied myself enough to notice sometimes when I felt conflicted inside at work, in my community, or alone in my bed at night it is because I don’t fit into the contextual “normal.” Normal is such a myth. That’s why I used the word contextual. Because what normal means differs depending on where you go. To me normal really means what is done not for happiness and wellness but for attention and validation from the people around you. To the extent that the feeling of belonging is more important to you than your own authenticity.

Of course all of us should follow social etiquette. I’m not saying there aren’t certain rules that serve us all really well and help our society function in a harmonious manner. But when it works against celebrating our inherent uniqueness and diversity as human-beings I have a problem. Humans should have the space to figure out and shape who they are. The saddest thing in the world to me is a person who isn’t living for themselves and is instead living for the approval of others. I would know how that feels because I was one of them.

Additional Thoughts:

• I find that I will not act like myself if I do not accept myself for who I am. Being comfortable in my own skin is as important as the air I breathe.
• I am letting go of people pleasing. This insatiable need to fill my outer shell with approval from others. This rearrangement of self to serve what I think someone else wants from me. I am rearranging myself to serve me. Everything else will fall into place.

XO,

Laveet