What dropping a crewneck on my birthday means to me

Two years ago I could barely pull myself out of bed and when I did it was difficult to motivate myself to keep moving. My days went something like this. I would get up and wait for the clock to strike 4 PM so I could pour myself a glass of red wine or whiskey and forget the day ever even happened. I felt really bad inside and didn’t know if there really was a proverbial light at the end of the tunnel for me. One “small” choice to move my body and a consistent commitment to getting out of my funk started the process of bringing joy back into my life.

It is a process. No one can sell me a promise that change happens in 24 hours. I never expected to be lifted out of my dreariness without wanting it first. That’s what most of miss when it comes to change. You have to want it. You have to believe in it. That’s how I started to feel joy slowly enter my life again but it wasn’t a joy that was tied to my accomplishments. My looks. How many cartwheels I could do. Or whether I hit the numbers I wanted to for my blog. No.

This joy came from deep inside. Something that couldn’t be destroyed by the darkness in the world or the incessant buzz of worry that seemed to hit most of…